Script Log :Changes and Developments to the script:

After reading through our script we felt the narrative should be stronger and a longer script. the story line we had was too simple so we wanted it to be more exciting for our listener by having more shocking story lines and to make it exciting for our aimed target audience.

A drama is usually a character or characters who are in conflict – (we have followed this convention with the narrative revolving around protagonist Lauren’s conflict with her ex-boss Vivienne.)  However, dramas usually include shocking events that make the audience feel empathy for the protagonist and be able to relate to their issues. Our drama was lacking this intensity – (the main disruption in the narrative was Lauren’s final dress for the fashion show being damagaged by Jeffrey, Vivienne personal assistant) – we needed something more, to create an impact on the listeners and create a stronger narrative that  fits our chosen genre.To improve our narrative in this way we:

• Created a new scene in which Lauren’s boyfriend Chris is having an affair with Lauren’s ex boss and enemy, Vivienne. 
•  We then decided that as a climax to the plot, the truth would be revealed to Lauren by Vivienne in the final scene - creating a shocking and memorable ending to the radio drama.
• we also added areas in the script which were funny this developed our theme into a sub genre of comedy/drama which would appeal more to our young target auidence.  It makes the drama more amusing as well as dramatic.

here is our typed up 2nd draft of our script:
  which we changed the first scene to Vivienne and Laurens boyfriend Chris in bed together which we introduce the characters and their relationship by Chris saying to Vivienne that  this is not right, your my girl friends ex boss and that he loves her so it shows the relationship he has with Lauren at the same time of engaging with the viewer he is cheating on her with Lauren's ex boss which all comes out in the last scene but Chris is black mailed by Vivienne as she threatens to tell Lauren if he doesn't stay with her. we made some slight changes to this scene as we had his mobile ringing twice but its not needed as it slows down the scene and Chris is in a rush in this scene.

Scene two is the day of the fashion show which we changed the setting from being in a street walking to the venue to a dressing room in royal Albert hall, we also decided to get rid of the Character Roxy to make the script clearer and by reducing characters that have a few lines we make the bond between Chris and Lauren more . so in scene two it is just the characters Lauren and Chris.

This was scene three but we have joined the scenes together we show in this scene Chris being really nice to Lauren which makes him look bad to the listeners as he is cheating on her. we also did this to make the character consistent. when Vivienne is talking to Jeffrey we added what he does (personal Assistant) in the script and has Vivienne shouts at Jeffrey being really bossy, he squeals to show the relationship between him and Vivienne that he is scared of her and that his a bit of a push over we also added to the scene Vivienne saying "MY!" which shows how self centered she is and she alters her voice in the scene as she shouts at him but then she wants a favour so her pitch is altered to let the viewers know she is up to something.

Scene 5: is at the fashion show, when the finale dress gets ruined our first idea was that it gets purposely ruined with red paint although we thought it is too original so we decided that we would have the dress ruined with iron marks all over it, so we changed that on the script also there was lines for Roxy who is an ex character so her lines in this scene are the model who has to wear the dress so it shows the relationship and the reaction of the dress.












Scene 6-last scene this is where lauren is happy as her collection turned out well and the dress although lauren and vivienne bump in to one another and hell breaks loose and lauren finds out about chris and Vivienne. we didn't want to have a happy ending as this is  a series drama it would carry on to the  next weeks so its carry on drama just like many TV soaps like East enders etc and like many Radio Dramas like The Archers.